Monday, December 17, 2012


I remember a story from church about a farming community that was going through a drought. They were church-going folk, simple people of faith and called in an evangelist to help pray for rain. The evangelist looked at the packed house and said, 'Where is your faith?' It was standing room only and everyone looked at each other confused. They had showed up, hadn't they? The evangelist waited a moment until things quieted down and said, 'If you had faith that God would give you rain, why hasn't anyone brought an umbrella?'

So I was thinking about how I put out to God, Spirit, The Universe, who/which has limitless abundance that I want a kiss for Christmas. I know, silly, but it's something to me, because of the events of the past few years, if you know me, you know....and I was talking to a friend last night and said, 'Santa is bringing me a kiss for Christmas!' but then I thought, where is my faith? Where is my 'umbrella'? So I said, 'No matter what, wherever I go, I'm going to doll up, to get Santa's attention, and to hedge my bets, bribe some reindeer to put in a good word for me. My friend said, 'Deer like carrots.' Well, shit. I have no carrots. 'Do they like celery?' 'They're herbivores, so yeah, I think so.' 'Okay, so celery it is. I'll bring celery with me.'

Today when I was leaving, I gave my grandma a kiss goodbye and almost walked out the door and remembered and asked her if she had celery. She looked at me funny and said, 'Tak. Take as much as you need.' So I opened the crisper drawer and found TWO CARROTS and a head of celery, so I took a stalk of that too, even though I really think the carrots will really get me in good with Comet and Cupid. Still, it's good to have back-up.

No, I didn't catch Santa in his sleigh today. The weather was foggy and drizzly (more work for Rudolph) but every time I looked at my purse, I saw two carrots and a stalk of celery sticking out and giggled, all day long. So either I get a kiss or I make soup. Either way, it's win/win. (And I'm going to the hardware store and buying a big bag of deer corn tomorrow. Hedging bets doesn't hurt).

If you're praying for rain, don't forget to bring an umbrella.

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